Last Wednesday, I completed treatment #6 of 12. My mom and Jamie came with me this time.
The official halfway point! This is definitely a big milestone, and it’s so encouraging to know that the last PET/CT scan show no evidence of cancer now. At the same time, it is very hard for me to think about the finish line being 3 months away. I find it much easier to take this day by day rather than thinking all the way out to the finish line. This tends to be true of most challenges in life. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt the difference so acutely before. The moment I shift my thinking from the long term view to going into the moment, I feel the burden and the stress dissipate. I often think of the phrase I read in the Power of Now about 20 years ago: “What, at this moment, is a problem.” When I think about it this way, I realize that I can handle this moment right now. That’s really all that matters. Projecting out the next six treatments and the subsequent nausea, fatigue and discomfort compounded six more times does me no good. I’ve handled each day one at a time so far, and I will continue to do so!
I also wanted to share this picture of the view from our window in the infusion unit. Sometimes we get a space with a beautiful view of the Charles River with a gorgeous sunset. Other times, it’s an interior room without any view at all. This time, I excited to get a windowed room, but was a bit disappointed to see that our entire window was blocked by the building next door, only a few feet away. But when we looked closer after getting settled in, it turned out to be a very beautiful view after all.
Someone who seemed to know their window was facing the infusion unit wrote “Get Well Soon” on their window backwards so it could be read from the outside. I found this to be very touching. It was such an empathetic gesture to so many people that the creator would never meet. It had a real impact on my experience in the room that day. I smiled every time I turned to look at it. I only wish I had thought quickly enough to write “Thank You” back before we left that day.